wah.. got scolded by 1 fren.. so maybe I shall write about it..
my friends might be wondering why the hell am I hanging out with amelia so much and talking like as if we're still together..
Well for a fact, we still care for each other alot..
I mean seriously, how can we hate each other when we were kissing and what not just a few weeks back.. the only reason we broke up is cuz we realise that we probably cannot live happily together as husband and wife.. On the contrary, as to what some might say about me being a player, I think it takes a rational and mature mindset to acknowledge what are realistic goals.. what's the point in having a ladeeda sunshine picture now and stare at one another deadpanned many years later.. I know some say commitment is important in a relationship.. well I also think so.. but it must be applied flexibly lah.. dun be penny wise and dollar foolish.. if you keep insisting whatever flowery words will keep the love going strong.. how realistic is that? I ain't gonna plan my bed sharing partner based on commitment at such an early stage.. when the time comes it'll come.. we only live for say 80 years.. we'll have plenty of time to lie next to each other with commitment when we leave this world.. let's not forget what the word "love" is in the first place.. I find it irking when pple jump the gun and step into a middle aged dad with kids role when we're only so young.. there's a time for everything lah..
but I've digressed.. what my point is that.. Amelia and I really do share a special friendship.. but we are far from getting back together.. we both know what we want in our partners.. I think the 1 year 4 months we spent together was a wise choice.. We enjoyed each other's company, learnt many things, and had a wonderful portion of our lives sharing good times.. like I said.. nothing is forever.. but with luck, she and I will find the right person to share the greater portion with till the time we leave this place..
of course when I go out with her.. there's the occasional tendency to want to grab her by the waist like how I did last time.. call it instinct or whatever.. but because we recognise that there's deeper reasons which caused us to break.. in fact if I don't get rid of this instinct soon.. I might be feeling the urge to grab my good gal frens by the waist too.. NO LAH I'M JUST KIDDING..
in fact, if we could on and off physical closeness with just a thought, it would be quite freaky.. I think the point when a couple starts to get more physical is the point when they feel comfortable with each other, not like a deadline after which the buzzer rings and you start getting closer.. so of course if we break up on a good note, we would still feel comfortable with each other right.. if we could stop just like that and maintain 1 metre between us.. I think I would have been quite pervert who was consciously lusting after her when I was together with her..
Addeeeeeee.. for you one leh this post.. hahaha.. thanks for your concern though! I know you hate me and think I'm a jerk! hahaha.. kidding lah.. congrats on you and your guy again! =)
Friday, August 15, 2008
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4 comments:
You still got my point wrong, TQH.
My point was, is and still ALWAYS WILL BE. that it is probably not the BEST time to be so physically close to amelia when you KNOW that she has to get over you FIRST.
Quoted from you, you told me that she still has feelings for you, but understands that she has to get over you, because it is impossible between you two.
Though much of the work has to be coming from her side, i am implying that you being so physically close to her is not helping her reach that stage anytime soon.
I NEVER said that you two shouldn't hang out. Go out all you want. But its what YOU DO during the outing that can make or break something she holds dear to herself.
"there's a time for everything lah.." I find it ironic that you even mentioned this statement in your second paragraph. There is a time for everything, yes. Is this the time for you to do this to her yet? No.
You told me you wanted to break up with her because you do not want to waste her time any longer, but yet you are prolonging the time she needs to take to get over you with your actions.
Use your head (the one on top of your neck, obviously) and consider if she really needs all these from you now. Even though you two might share a 'special' relationship, I feel, your actions are unnecessary. Especially on her more vulnerable period.
Its an act of consideration on the correct timing for her. Your previous post about Amelia's friend got me laughing, because this is exactly how I would describe you in this situation right now - inconsiderate, selfish and hurting your friend.
As much as i try to accept you for who you are as a friend, I DO NOT condone your every action.
Dear Amelia: The route to being truthful to yourself is hard. I hope you find out more about yourself while being on it.
-Ade
hmmmmmm.. I get what you mean.. but what I'm feeling is that you feel strongly against this whole thing because either you experienced something like that before or your friend experienced something like it also..
I think this is the case lah.. from the way you write..
but I think that actually I'm being quite true to myself and for that matter, it is amelia that I'm only concerned about with regards to this thing.. I guess maybe we should wait for her to say something so that maybe it might be clearer..
If she wants or doesn't want something, I think the best I can do now as a friend is to just respect what kind of friendship she wants to have with me.. if she says yes I'm making it hard for her to move on I will definitely stop doing whatever it is now..
I think there's no point in me inferring what she truly wants or that she doesn't even say what's on her mind in the beginning..
But having said that.. I must say it is hard to agree on this thing because we already know that we have very differing views when it comes to boy girl relationships..
at the very least.. despite what you or I might say about this thing, I can only say the only thing that matters in this case is, what does Amelia want?
With reference to my previous post..I think the main point is being missed.. some of amelia's frens think that she is happy with them doing or saying some things but in actual fact it is not.. I'm just telling them that there's no point in their good intentions if they just want to satisfy their mentalities of what is right but it is not what amelia wants..
I can sense you're abit unhappy with this whole thing.. but then actually.. since you and I are good frens.. this thing between me and amelia shouldn't bother you at all.. but wouldn't you agree that you're getting heated up because I'm kinda stepping on your values of what is right.. and not that you really feel very sorry for her..
and you still owe me crab..
=)
heh..
heyyy
im fine with everything tt is going on for the moment n i do believe what is happening now is a result of habit. like it's a habit to go out, it's a habit to talk often, it's a habit (plus instinct as quoted by tqh) to mayb be a tad closer physically than what normal good friends r like
i think with time these habits will leave and we'll be back as normal good friends once again
im in the midst of getting over it already n with the addition of school work n other commitments, im getting over things very quickly n even faster than i hv expected.
ade, thanks for your concern. actually i had 2 other guy friends who shared the same sentiments as u n they hv also spoke to me abt it. i told them i already noe what i want n tt is to move on n to concentrate on what matters most to me nw which is my studies, and im already halfway thru on the path of getting over it =)
amelia
"since you and I are good frens.. this thing between me and amelia shouldn't bother you at all.. but wouldn't you agree that you're getting heated up because I'm kinda stepping on your values of what is right.. and not that you really feel very sorry for her.."
I feel sorry for her, because if I were her, I would have felt 'baited' from the things you are doing to me.
If you are talking about my values, If I were her, I would have ripped your balls out already at your first move when I am getting over you.
Big difference.
Since Amelia already mentioned she know what she want. This comment is the last from me, because yes, we have very different values from the start anyway.
-Ade
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